What happens if we all die together?

Now that you’ve faced the possibility that you may die when your children are young, let’s discuss how you would want your estate handled if your entire family died together.  I know, it’s a horrible thought. During the Estate Planning process you will have to imagine scenarios where all of the people you love and care about die before you in order to determine how their death would affect what you want to have happen to your estate.

I find it helpful to think of these alternate gifts as all the great ways I can use my estate to help the people and causes I care about if I didn’t have to provide for my daughter.  Depending on the size of your estate, you can end up feeling a little bit like Oprah—“YOU get a car and YOU get a car and YOU get a car!”  Or, if your estate is more like mine—“YOU get a bicycle and YOU get a bicycle and YOU get a bicycle!” 

So let your imagination run wild.  Here are some questions to get you thinking:

·         Is there someone you know who could really use a break?  Someone who is always giving of themselves, but could use some financial help?

·         Is there someone who you really believe could do great things in life?  How can you help them achieve their dream?

·         Is there someone who is struggling to pay for an education or a child that you want to see go to college? 

·         Is there a person who helped you get where you are today?  How?  Can you make a gift that would recreate that support for someone else?

·         Were you the recipient of an educational grant or scholarship? 

·         Were you involved in an organization that made a difference in your life?

·         Is there a cause that you believe strongly in?  Is there a person or organization that is doing good work in that area?

·         Would you rather give smaller gifts to many people or larger gifts to one or two?  Do you want to be recognized or give them anonymously?

·         Do you want to create a trust or make a one-time gift?

·         Do you want to put conditions on your gift?

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Wills: They're Not Just for Old People Anymore!

Wills are like losing weight.  We know it’s something we should do, but dang it's sure hard to get started!  I’m right there with ya.  I have a confession to make.  I don’t have a will. *gasp*  You’d be surprised how many lawyers don’t have wills.  The professor who taught my wills class also didn’t have a will—even though she is a lesbian in a committed relationship with children!

To be fair, it’s not only the effort of making a will that keeps us on the couch.  What keeps me from writing my will is having to imagine a situation where I won’t be around to watch my daughter grow up.    Despite my knowledge to the contrary, it feels  as though simply contemplating the possibility of my untimely death is enough to make it more likely.  I felt the same way before I purchased life insurance.   Based on that experience, I can tell you that I felt a tremendous sense of relief knowing my daughter would be provided for if I were to die unexpectedly.

When you’re young, single, and childless you may be comfortable allowing the state’s intestate statute govern your estate distribution.  Once you have children, you may not be comfortable leaving their future up to chance.  Who would you want to raise your children if you and your spouse/co-parent die?  How would you want to provide for your children’s care and support?  Who do you want responsible for managing their finances until they are adults? 

It can feel overwhelming to address all of these estate planning concerns at once.  Breaking the process into smaller chunks makes it manageable.  

Over the next few weeks, I will be posting some exercises to help you gather the information and reflect on the important choices you will need to make when writing a will.  The initial posts will focus on the needs of families with young children and later posts will be useful to people in any stage of life.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like to see other topics covered and I will do my best to accommodate your request. 

Let's commit to giving ourselves and our children the peace of mind of having an emergency back-up plan in place by the end of 2011.  Consider it the Year of The Will.  As a bonus, you can do most of the work while in your PJs laying on the couch.  That's an offer Lifetime Fitness just can't beat!

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